on autopilot

Reading Beyond Mountains, in the midst of a semester of teaching seven classes and applying to law school, I am challenged by the way I seem to just be responding to the loudest demand of the moment rather than intentionally investing my life into the future. Talk about a future to be proud of, Greg Mortenson, the main character in this true story built fifty five schools in Afganastan while being opposed at every turn by the Taliban whose anti-Western, and anti-female views made it a near impossible feat. At the beginning of the “war on terror” this man fought terror the right way, by showing compassion for desperate people, and lifting them up to dream through education. Although I am a week away from final exams, I feel like my life is being lived on autopilot, and reflects anything but intentional investment in the future. There are so many things I have filed away in my “it matters a lot , but you don’t have time for it” category- things like making sure that our investments are supporting socially responsible companies, making sure that our appliances, light bulbs etc are energy efficient, our cleaning products are green, writing my state Senator about the atrocities in Darfur and the deception involved in the “freedom of choice act”, signing up to tutor at an after school program in my neighborhood, writing my world vision child, and writing my “bucket list” . All of these things are not pressing, if I never did one of them I wouldn’t loose my job or turn into an uncaring heartless person. So hopefully burning the midnight oil for a semester will not preclude the formation of a pattern of intentional living, but if I keep doing this year after year, perhaps I will wish that one day I had stopped responding to demands and started making sure that what I did matters in the future, even in the moment.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter.”
-Martin Luther King Jr.